I really do try hard not to complain about this deployment too much. I don't try to feel sorry for myself or pity our family for what we endure. James chose this profession and I chose to marry into it. I don't like to dwell on the negatives. I accept that James will need to deploy in order to fulfill his job and I also accept that whatever we go through is because that is what God has planned for us. I try hard to live by the belief that "what will be will be" and "everything happens for a reason."
Now, I'm not saying I'm the most positive person in the world. Far from it. But I do try to keep it all in perspective and not fall into the "woe is me" attitude.
But days like today just make me want to scream out loud with angst. I'm fed up to here (motions towards forehead) with some of the things I've heard and read from other wives and I just need to voice my anger.
There is a particular message board I belong to for other military wives. It is a great group of women whom I have posted with for several years now. A few of them I've met in person, but most of them I only know online. Anyway, a few months ago one wife mentioned her husband needed to make a choice about his future (whether to reenlist or not) and she had lots of reservations about it, mostly pertaining to the possibility he might have to deploy. If he did reenlist, she said they were looking at particular duty stations where he wouldn't have to deploy.
This is not an isolated event. Countless other wives I run into talk the same kind of garbage. They and their husbands are constantly looking for ways to keep from having to deploy.
Now, I'm not saying I'm irritated with the wives whose husbands have already gone to Iraq once or twice and are now looking for a stateside tour that will keep them from another deployment. Far from it. They've done their time. I don't begrudge them wanting to keep their husbands home for a while.
What I'm complaining about are the soldiers who haven't yet gone to Iraq and are still searching for ways around EVER having to go.
On this particular message board there were a couple posts made in the last day or two that really, really got under my skin. One wife was dreading her husband's first deployment, and he's been in the service nearly TEN years!!!! Another was from a wife whose husband is getting ready to go on his first deployment to Iraq (his second deployment ever, if I read that right) in his 20+ years of service.
And then there's another wife whose husband got back from Iraq a year ago, spent nearly a year apart at a school in TX, and now is going right back to Iraq.
What kills me is that certain people skirt around deployments and finagle their way through the system so they never have to leave precious U.S. soil. Hell yeah, I wish James never had to leave U.S. soil, either, but how fair is it to send my husband 3 times in less than 5 years, with a fourth Iraq tour already written on the calendar? And how fair to the wife from my message board whose husband is having to go back so soon after coming back and being in a school?
It seems like a fraction of the military gets called upon to line up in the dump zone, while another portion (I'll call them weasels) get out of it smelling like roses. It's unfair and I'm having a hissy fit over it.
When I read or hear things like this, about avoiding deployments any way possible, you might as well be screaming at the top of your lungs that your husband is better than mine, yours is TOO GOOD for Iraq while mine deserves to get sent repeatedly. If you're actively trying to avoid ever going to Iraq, you're leaving the dirty work to others and you don't deserve to wear the uniform.
So tonight I'm screaming inside while I wish, instead, that I could be screaming THAT at them.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
And another one...
...the news is always tragic no matter who, or what, or when, or where. It seems even more so when the guys are less than a month from leaving Iraq. May God watch over yet another Fort Benning soldier's family as they navigate the raw emotions of the grieving process.
And, again, I thank God for the Grace He has shown to James, his CSD platoon, our deployed friends (Mike and Kenny), the spouses of all the ladies I see daily in my classes, and the thousands of other troops anxious to return home to our arms.
Please say a prayer that no more tragedy comes to our precious troops.
And, again, I thank God for the Grace He has shown to James, his CSD platoon, our deployed friends (Mike and Kenny), the spouses of all the ladies I see daily in my classes, and the thousands of other troops anxious to return home to our arms.
Please say a prayer that no more tragedy comes to our precious troops.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Never get too Comfortable
No, it was not an April Fool's joke and that's the sad part.
I woke this morning to find an email from our unit saying that our brigade had suffered a casualty during the night. This is the first loss we've had since last October. I suppose with our soldiers' redeployment so close we've all become a little too comfortable in that knowledge, as if nothing bad can touch them now that they're this close to home.
But for one family the knock on the door they received was not a terrible April Fool's joke. It was tragically real and sad and painful. My prayers are with that family. How heart-breaking it must be to be nearing the end of a horrible 14 month deployment, feeling energized that it is almost over, anticipating the reunion, to have those dreams ripped away from you.
The worst can happen at anytime so live each day as if it is your last, always aware that it very well could be. And have faith that God will see you through.
I woke this morning to find an email from our unit saying that our brigade had suffered a casualty during the night. This is the first loss we've had since last October. I suppose with our soldiers' redeployment so close we've all become a little too comfortable in that knowledge, as if nothing bad can touch them now that they're this close to home.
But for one family the knock on the door they received was not a terrible April Fool's joke. It was tragically real and sad and painful. My prayers are with that family. How heart-breaking it must be to be nearing the end of a horrible 14 month deployment, feeling energized that it is almost over, anticipating the reunion, to have those dreams ripped away from you.
The worst can happen at anytime so live each day as if it is your last, always aware that it very well could be. And have faith that God will see you through.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Book Recommendation
For anyone not familiar with military life, or those who would like a deeper understanding of it, or those who live it and want to read a very interesting book that touches on so much of what we face, I have a recommendation for you. I just finished reading Under The Sabers: The Unwritten Code of Army Wives by Tanya Biank. It is the book that the Lifetime series Army Wives is based on. This book was written after the Fort Bragg murders back in 2004 in which several soldiers returning home from war murdered their wives. I found it a very interesting look at what our lives are like, and most of the time the book was right on the money. In fact, I don't think I've read anything before that so closely captured the understanding of who we are and what we face the way this book did.
I love the Lifetime show, and look forward to it returning with new episodes this summer, but I also find many liberties taken with the storyline. The book, however, didn't seem to take such liberties. It told our story very plainly and without embellishment or exaggeration.
If you do read the book, or have already read it, leave me a note and let me know what your thoughts were. I'm interested to hear others' comments on the story as well as the TV show.
I love the Lifetime show, and look forward to it returning with new episodes this summer, but I also find many liberties taken with the storyline. The book, however, didn't seem to take such liberties. It told our story very plainly and without embellishment or exaggeration.
If you do read the book, or have already read it, leave me a note and let me know what your thoughts were. I'm interested to hear others' comments on the story as well as the TV show.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Five years ago tonight...
...I laid in bed, tears silently and slowly trickling down my face, as I listened to our President announce that he had already ordered our bombers to begin striking targets in Iraq. Operation Iraqi Freedom had begun.
Thousands of miles away, James was crossing the berm from Kuwait into Iraq. I can only imagine what must have been going through each of those soldiers' minds. They were no longer at NTC, they were not in the field, they were crossing enemy territory entering a war. They did not know what lay before them, but proceeded to do as their training instructed them, all the while forging ahead towards Baghdad.
James has many stories he shares of those days and weeks that led to an almost 8 month deployment on that initial invasion. He has many more stories that he talks of only around his fellow soldiers that were there with him. And I'm sure he has some stories that stay locked inside. The horrors of war.
Tonight the media officially says it is the five year anniversary of OIF. To hear James talk of it, though, he doesn't believe OIF1 should be considered the same thing as the invasion. He feels he, his men, and his unit were the Iraq Invasion, whereas the units that relieved him months later began the first OIF. Since then he has seen time in Iraq for OIF3 and now OIF5. The guys from his unit that have done all three (the invasion, OIF3, OIF5) have taken to adding a decimal to the end of their OIF number to symbolize how many deployments this makes for the unit. For exmple, this being James' and 3rd ID's thrid deployment to Iraq, they designate this deployment as OIF5.3.
How I dread to think that before too long he'll be going for OIF7.4. That does not have a nice ring to it at all.
In happier news, though, we're in the homestretch (or so it seems) to this deployment. Little by little we've gotten through it and the end is in sight. I can't say for sure when but before summer he'll be home!
As I remember this night, five years before, I thank God that He has watched over James during every single day, watched over us, and been the strength for all of us to make it through.
And I pray that the next five years brings James more time at home than our country has allowed him during the previous five. As proud and happy as he is to serve, sometimes it would be nice to tell Uncle Sam, "Not now, my family comes first for once."
Thousands of miles away, James was crossing the berm from Kuwait into Iraq. I can only imagine what must have been going through each of those soldiers' minds. They were no longer at NTC, they were not in the field, they were crossing enemy territory entering a war. They did not know what lay before them, but proceeded to do as their training instructed them, all the while forging ahead towards Baghdad.
James has many stories he shares of those days and weeks that led to an almost 8 month deployment on that initial invasion. He has many more stories that he talks of only around his fellow soldiers that were there with him. And I'm sure he has some stories that stay locked inside. The horrors of war.
Tonight the media officially says it is the five year anniversary of OIF. To hear James talk of it, though, he doesn't believe OIF1 should be considered the same thing as the invasion. He feels he, his men, and his unit were the Iraq Invasion, whereas the units that relieved him months later began the first OIF. Since then he has seen time in Iraq for OIF3 and now OIF5. The guys from his unit that have done all three (the invasion, OIF3, OIF5) have taken to adding a decimal to the end of their OIF number to symbolize how many deployments this makes for the unit. For exmple, this being James' and 3rd ID's thrid deployment to Iraq, they designate this deployment as OIF5.3.
How I dread to think that before too long he'll be going for OIF7.4. That does not have a nice ring to it at all.
In happier news, though, we're in the homestretch (or so it seems) to this deployment. Little by little we've gotten through it and the end is in sight. I can't say for sure when but before summer he'll be home!
As I remember this night, five years before, I thank God that He has watched over James during every single day, watched over us, and been the strength for all of us to make it through.
And I pray that the next five years brings James more time at home than our country has allowed him during the previous five. As proud and happy as he is to serve, sometimes it would be nice to tell Uncle Sam, "Not now, my family comes first for once."
Friday, February 29, 2008
Well, I sure don't post much, do I?
I've taken quite a hiatus lately, haven't I? I can't believe how time slips away. Some days that's a very good thing, other days it seems a pity.
Ever since James deployed my goal has been to stay busy, the busier the better. "Stay busy" is my mantra to other wives with deployed spouses. It helps the time pass quicker until our husbands return. I've always tried to do this, from James' first deployment back in 1996 when I was on my own in TX before we had children. I took various courses at the local college in addition to working overtime at my job. It was what I needed to do to keep from feeling the loneliness too deeply.
And ever since I've held onto that same philosophy. The busier you are, the sooner the deployment will be over.
However, I'm not so sure that's always the best thing. Isn't life already too short? Aren't we missing out on so much by zooming through the days? I see time flying by in the rush of ballet lessons, scouting events, swimming lessons, weekend sleepovers with friends, my work, etc. It seems as if the time is passing too quickly. I'm missing out on the joys of just "being" rather than always "doing."
And yet, when I realize that nearly a year has passed since James deployed, and only 2 1/2 months or thereabouts until he returns, how can I curse the fact that time has flown? Yes, another year of watching our babies grow has passed all too quickly and they're one year closer to leaving the nest. But at the same time they are nearing the end of this long deployment and anxious to wrap their arms around their Daddy again. So I can't really say that time flying by is a horrible thing after all.
It just is what it is.
And yes, you did hear right. Only about 2 1/2 months remain until James should be home. Of course everything can change on a dime but that's what we're looking towards now. And boy, oh boy, are we ever looking forward to it.
Some of you may remember that James and I took a cruise together for our 10th anniversary a few years ago. The girls stayed with my parents for the week and James and I enjoyed a wonderful vacation together--the only one we've ever had without kids since our honeymoon. Well, we've booked another cruise but this time we'll have two pretty, little girls accompanying us to celebrate our 14th anniversary as a family. We're so excited for this! The girls talk about little else but getting on that ship, swimming in the beaches, seeing dolphins, and everything else they've ever imagined a cruise to be. We feel so blessed that we are able to indulge in this time to reconnect as a family and shut the rest of the world out.
So from now until his return I suppose the girls and I continue to do what we've been doing....taking one day at a time. Every day we get to wake up and feel the sunshine on our faces and the breath in our body we should be grateful for and make each moment last. There's no sense in trying to make the days end quickly. It may seem like it when you're waiting for a special someone to return home, but in the end all that's ended quickly is the time you get to spend with your family that day. You never know when your days are going to run out so make the most of every single one. This should be my new mantra, shouldn't it?
And as long as this post has worked its way around to making each moment count, I feel I should share something about one of my faithful ladies at the gym. This woman is in her midlife years and is the most dedicated and faithful person I think I've ever met. She's very determined and inspiring to others. Early on as I was getting to know her I casually asked "How are you?" as a greeting. I was surprised by her response, "I'm blessed, thank you." I was taken aback at first because that's not the usual answer someone gives. Usually they say "Fine" and go about their way. Not Ms. Felicia. I've listened to her since then and she always answers people the same way, and truly, genuinely means it. She absolutely feels blessed to be alive each and every day and feels a deep commitment to maintaining the body God gave to her. She's astounding and has been a great inspiration to the participants in my classes. We all love her, even when her comment about our husbands wanting to come home to the "apple of their eye, not someone who looks like an apple pie" left some stunned. She's a hoot and someone we should all take a lesson in life's blessings from.
Until next time....
Ever since James deployed my goal has been to stay busy, the busier the better. "Stay busy" is my mantra to other wives with deployed spouses. It helps the time pass quicker until our husbands return. I've always tried to do this, from James' first deployment back in 1996 when I was on my own in TX before we had children. I took various courses at the local college in addition to working overtime at my job. It was what I needed to do to keep from feeling the loneliness too deeply.
And ever since I've held onto that same philosophy. The busier you are, the sooner the deployment will be over.
However, I'm not so sure that's always the best thing. Isn't life already too short? Aren't we missing out on so much by zooming through the days? I see time flying by in the rush of ballet lessons, scouting events, swimming lessons, weekend sleepovers with friends, my work, etc. It seems as if the time is passing too quickly. I'm missing out on the joys of just "being" rather than always "doing."
And yet, when I realize that nearly a year has passed since James deployed, and only 2 1/2 months or thereabouts until he returns, how can I curse the fact that time has flown? Yes, another year of watching our babies grow has passed all too quickly and they're one year closer to leaving the nest. But at the same time they are nearing the end of this long deployment and anxious to wrap their arms around their Daddy again. So I can't really say that time flying by is a horrible thing after all.
It just is what it is.
And yes, you did hear right. Only about 2 1/2 months remain until James should be home. Of course everything can change on a dime but that's what we're looking towards now. And boy, oh boy, are we ever looking forward to it.
Some of you may remember that James and I took a cruise together for our 10th anniversary a few years ago. The girls stayed with my parents for the week and James and I enjoyed a wonderful vacation together--the only one we've ever had without kids since our honeymoon. Well, we've booked another cruise but this time we'll have two pretty, little girls accompanying us to celebrate our 14th anniversary as a family. We're so excited for this! The girls talk about little else but getting on that ship, swimming in the beaches, seeing dolphins, and everything else they've ever imagined a cruise to be. We feel so blessed that we are able to indulge in this time to reconnect as a family and shut the rest of the world out.
So from now until his return I suppose the girls and I continue to do what we've been doing....taking one day at a time. Every day we get to wake up and feel the sunshine on our faces and the breath in our body we should be grateful for and make each moment last. There's no sense in trying to make the days end quickly. It may seem like it when you're waiting for a special someone to return home, but in the end all that's ended quickly is the time you get to spend with your family that day. You never know when your days are going to run out so make the most of every single one. This should be my new mantra, shouldn't it?
And as long as this post has worked its way around to making each moment count, I feel I should share something about one of my faithful ladies at the gym. This woman is in her midlife years and is the most dedicated and faithful person I think I've ever met. She's very determined and inspiring to others. Early on as I was getting to know her I casually asked "How are you?" as a greeting. I was surprised by her response, "I'm blessed, thank you." I was taken aback at first because that's not the usual answer someone gives. Usually they say "Fine" and go about their way. Not Ms. Felicia. I've listened to her since then and she always answers people the same way, and truly, genuinely means it. She absolutely feels blessed to be alive each and every day and feels a deep commitment to maintaining the body God gave to her. She's astounding and has been a great inspiration to the participants in my classes. We all love her, even when her comment about our husbands wanting to come home to the "apple of their eye, not someone who looks like an apple pie" left some stunned. She's a hoot and someone we should all take a lesson in life's blessings from.
Until next time....
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Six years ago
Six years ago today my precious baby Bethany was born into this world. It truly feels like only a short time has passed since then, but seeing how big she's becoming tells me otherwise. Everyone always tells you how quickly the time will pass and you don't quite "get" that until you see it happening to you, right before your eyes. Time doesn't stop or slow for anyone, and my six year old baby is proof enough of that for me.
It's quite a great story to tell about the days leading up to her birth. James had been in Kosovo since October on a six month deployment. While he was deployed, Morgan and I moved to my parents' house so I wouldn't be alone during the pregnancy and birth. Bethany was due on February 3rd. James and I arranged a flight for him to come home around that timeframe but it was a mess for him in trying to get out of Kosovo. We weren't allowed to book flights out of there. We had to book him a flight out of Germany to the States. Getting from Kosovo to Germany was all on him and he promised he'd do his best to make that plane at Germany. But he was at the mercy of the Army in making it out of Kosovo. He had to smooth talk his way onto various helicopter flights and bus rides, etc. I don't even think this would be "legal" nowadays but at the time he was told to do what he had to do to get out of Kosovo and not tell his superiors about it because if they knew they would forbid him to go.
So he worked some magic and arranged this ride and that flight and had things worked out so that he'd make it to Germany in time for the flight we'd booked him on, but Mother Nature had other plans. He hadn't counted on fog so thick the helicopters couldn't fly. So, needless to say, he ran into delays that we hadn't anticipated.
All the while Bethany's due date approaches and passes, and my doctor decides we'll induce on the 7th.
James' original flight from Germany to St Louis was to arrive on the 5th. However the weather conditions made it clear there was no way he'd make it on that flight. I called the airline to request they move him to a flight the next day and they took pity on our situation and changed his flight by one day but warned that if he couldn't make that flight there was nothing more they could do and we'd be out the $500 ticket we'd bought.
During all this James was sending me email updates whenever he happened to be somewhere along the way long enough to contact me, and give me an update on where he was and what the weather was bringing. I've saved all those emails to show Bethany someday just how hard her Daddy worked to try to make it home for her birth.
Miraculously, he did make that rescheduled flight which had him arriving at the St Louis airport around 10 pm on Feb. 6th. We were scheduled to be at the hospital 7 hours later, at 5 am on the 7th to begin the induction. Bethany's Daddy made it home with only 7 hours to spare.
This precious girl of mine, I couldn't love her more if I tried. She is everything I could ever want and so very much more. She's a reminder of my childhood, a dream of what will be, a sprinkle of sunshine into every single day, a princess in the making, a hug always waiting. Bethany brings joy to our hearts in ways that are only dreamed about.
Thank you, God, for every breath you've given us with Bethany. It is an honor to hear her call us "Momma" and "Daddy."
It's quite a great story to tell about the days leading up to her birth. James had been in Kosovo since October on a six month deployment. While he was deployed, Morgan and I moved to my parents' house so I wouldn't be alone during the pregnancy and birth. Bethany was due on February 3rd. James and I arranged a flight for him to come home around that timeframe but it was a mess for him in trying to get out of Kosovo. We weren't allowed to book flights out of there. We had to book him a flight out of Germany to the States. Getting from Kosovo to Germany was all on him and he promised he'd do his best to make that plane at Germany. But he was at the mercy of the Army in making it out of Kosovo. He had to smooth talk his way onto various helicopter flights and bus rides, etc. I don't even think this would be "legal" nowadays but at the time he was told to do what he had to do to get out of Kosovo and not tell his superiors about it because if they knew they would forbid him to go.
So he worked some magic and arranged this ride and that flight and had things worked out so that he'd make it to Germany in time for the flight we'd booked him on, but Mother Nature had other plans. He hadn't counted on fog so thick the helicopters couldn't fly. So, needless to say, he ran into delays that we hadn't anticipated.
All the while Bethany's due date approaches and passes, and my doctor decides we'll induce on the 7th.
James' original flight from Germany to St Louis was to arrive on the 5th. However the weather conditions made it clear there was no way he'd make it on that flight. I called the airline to request they move him to a flight the next day and they took pity on our situation and changed his flight by one day but warned that if he couldn't make that flight there was nothing more they could do and we'd be out the $500 ticket we'd bought.
During all this James was sending me email updates whenever he happened to be somewhere along the way long enough to contact me, and give me an update on where he was and what the weather was bringing. I've saved all those emails to show Bethany someday just how hard her Daddy worked to try to make it home for her birth.
Miraculously, he did make that rescheduled flight which had him arriving at the St Louis airport around 10 pm on Feb. 6th. We were scheduled to be at the hospital 7 hours later, at 5 am on the 7th to begin the induction. Bethany's Daddy made it home with only 7 hours to spare.
This precious girl of mine, I couldn't love her more if I tried. She is everything I could ever want and so very much more. She's a reminder of my childhood, a dream of what will be, a sprinkle of sunshine into every single day, a princess in the making, a hug always waiting. Bethany brings joy to our hearts in ways that are only dreamed about.
Thank you, God, for every breath you've given us with Bethany. It is an honor to hear her call us "Momma" and "Daddy."
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Moving forward
Wow. It's been WAY too long since I last posted. Happy New Year to everyone.
Once the girls and I arrived home from spending the holiday's at my parents' I got down to the business of keeping those resolutions I set for myself. Nineteen days into the New Year I can report....
...I have remained sugar-free for all but one of those days. I had a little slip up the last night at my parents' house and had one bowl of ice cream and some cookies. Other than that it has been good news the whole way. And I'm thrilled that I took this step. Conquering those sugar cravings was a battle I had to face and I've done myself proud. I don't crave sweets like I had. Truthfully, the first few days are the hardest as the sugar is coming out of your system. After that your body doesn't crave it like it used to. However, if I were to indulge in something sweet now, my body would want more and more of it. I'm no fool. Sugar, in me, acts like a drug. Sad, but true. For those that haven't ever had a problem with this, no amount of explaining it will help you understand it better. For those who know what I'm talking about, no other explanation is needed.
In other news, Morgan made the 100 mile club at her school this past week! She's the first girl in her school ever to make the 100 mile mark. Now she'll have her name on the plaque along with the handful of boys that have come before her in previous years.
Once the girls and I arrived home from spending the holiday's at my parents' I got down to the business of keeping those resolutions I set for myself. Nineteen days into the New Year I can report....
...I have remained sugar-free for all but one of those days. I had a little slip up the last night at my parents' house and had one bowl of ice cream and some cookies. Other than that it has been good news the whole way. And I'm thrilled that I took this step. Conquering those sugar cravings was a battle I had to face and I've done myself proud. I don't crave sweets like I had. Truthfully, the first few days are the hardest as the sugar is coming out of your system. After that your body doesn't crave it like it used to. However, if I were to indulge in something sweet now, my body would want more and more of it. I'm no fool. Sugar, in me, acts like a drug. Sad, but true. For those that haven't ever had a problem with this, no amount of explaining it will help you understand it better. For those who know what I'm talking about, no other explanation is needed.
...I have increased my cardio time (more on that below) and also my ab time. I've added an ab workout at the end of two of my step classes each week which has forced me to do more abs that I was previously doing. I intended to do more abs on my own at home, too, throughout the week but I haven't been as good at that yet. That's my goal for this coming week.
...I began training myself for that marathon as soon as we got home. I'm using the treadmill at the gym now rather than running outside. I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Either before or after my classes at the gym I'll hop on the treadmill and knock out half an hour or so of wogging (combination walking/jogging). I'm gradually decreasing the time I spend walking while increasing the jogging time, until I can get to where I don't need to walk anymore. This coming week it will be 15 min jog/5 min walk/repeat, for a 40 min workout. I aim to do this three to four days a week, depending on how wiped out I get with teaching my classes, too. I'm working on finding the right balance so I don't end up over-training and burning out, or worse, injuring myself.In other news, Morgan made the 100 mile club at her school this past week! She's the first girl in her school ever to make the 100 mile mark. Now she'll have her name on the plaque along with the handful of boys that have come before her in previous years.
Bethany has a birthday coming up and it's shocking to me to see that my baby is nearly 6! Where did the time go? Oh yeah, it's been spent with four major deployments over the course of six years. I'd count up the number of months James has actually been with Bethy since her birth but it would be far outnumbered by the months he's been away from her. That's the life we lead.
I just had a 2nd Lasik surgery this week. Back in September I had my first Lasik surgery on both eyes, taking me from approximately 20/400+ down to 20/20 in my left and 20/25 or so in my right. After waiting a few months to see if the right eye would improve my eye surgeon decided an "enhancement" would be a good idea to get that right eye where we'd like it. It had just been under-corrected before. So this past week I went back in and had my right eye touched up. It's a really odd feeling having your eye propped open and seeing these instruments and lasers coming down at you and you can not turn away or blink at all. You see this stuff happening and every instinct is to blink but there's a spring holding your eye open and so you can't blink. Instead you're looking straight at everything they are poking and prodding your eye with and praying the surgeon's skills will pull you through.
And as of yesterday morning at my post-op check his skills did pull me through. Now my right eye is seeing 20/15, so "fighter pilot" vision for me, as the surgeon called it. I had been very hesitant to have this surgery, concerned about the cost and possible outcomes. However, I have to say that I've been very pleased with my results and the difference it has made in my life. Night vision is still a problem for me but I'm hopeful that night driving glasses will be an option and help with that difficulty. All in all, though, if I had to do it again I would.
Lastly, a bit of good news from James. It sounds as if his expected 15 month deployment may be shortened ever so slightly and he could be home a couple weeks earlier than we'd thought. I know, I know, two weeks difference doesn't sound like a lot but we'll take ever little bit we can get. Especially knowing that he'll only have between 12-15 months at home before Uncle Sam will be sending him again.
I repeat, such is the life we lead. The only thing you can do is keep moving forward.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Resolutions for 2008!
It's time to welcome in a New Year and with that comes the inevitable resolutions that everyone seems to make. Some take root, some fizzle out, some are repeated year after year. I've given a L-O-T of thought over the last several weeks as to what I plan to resolve to do or not do this coming year and figured the best way to commit myself to keeping these resolutions was to put it in writing, tell everyone that cares to hear what my intentions are, and be accountable to those people as well as myself.
So here you all have it, my New Year's Resolutions for 2008!
1) I intend to eliminate sugar from my diet with the exception of special occasions. Anyone who knows me knows that my sweet tooth is undeniable and overused. I have a love-hate relationship with them in that I love them, but my hips, glutes, and thighs do not. So I've decided it is best to eliminate refined sugar from my diet to become more satisfied with myself and end this love-hate cycle. In order to break my cravings for sweets I intend to avoid all refined sugar whatsoever during the entire month of January. My hope is that after a month of nothing sweet I will have lost the desire for sweets therefore not feeling any "need" to indulge other than a very rare treat, like for Bethy's birthday in February, or something extra special like that. This is a big commitment for me so I want you all to keep me accountable. Don't be afraid to check up on me and keep me honest, OK?
2) I intend to increase my cardio and ab workout time. With my teaching schedule I do get in about 9 hours of cardio a week but sometimes I don't get to focus on my cardio as much as I'd like because I'm busy focusing on other people's form and going around the room making corrections or whatever that interrupts my workout. And that's fine. That's what I'm paid to do. So I need to change my mentality and quit thinking that teaching class is my personal workout time, because it's not. If I weren't teaching I would be working out at a higher intensity, but in order to teach I have to be able to talk and if I can talk through a workout then I'm not working the cardio hard enough for as much of a personal benefit as I need to. So I need to devote time in my schedule after or before class to my personal workout which will increase my cardio. In addition, I plan to incorporate more ab time to two of my classes each week, and during the rest of the week I plan to do more ab work on my own at home. Getting back to the cardio and making time on my own to add that in leads me to my third resolution.
3) I will begin training for, and will run in, the January 2009 Disney World Marathon. James and I have both been talking about this recently and have decided this is a huge deal for us both, something each of us feel strongly that we'd like to do. James has always been a runner, but I have never so this is all foreign territory to me, but something I'm determined to accomplish. James is going to begin training himself while still in Iraq, and continue his training when he comes home, to compete in the full marathon, some 26 miles. I, on the other hand, being such a novice, plan to train myself for the half marathon, a little over 13 miles. This way James will be able to be with the girls while I run the half on one day, and then we'll swap places so he can run the full the next day. It'll work out perfectly, logistically. Now I just need to commit myself fully to the training and figure a way to work the needed runs into my schedule, without overtraining myself with the teaching I already do. I'm sure it will be a matter of finding the right balance so I don't injure myself, or suffer burnout or exhaustion, but I'm confident that my desire to achieve this will carry me through. I don't know when I've been quite so excited for anything in a very long time. And I don't know when something that is so foreign to me hasn't scared me away entirely, but this hasn't. Maybe it has to do with our love of all things Disney. Maybe it has to do with my desire to be a running partner with James. Maybe it has to do with all the sweets I've eaten way too many of and need to burn off. Maybe it has to do with proving to myself that that which does not kill me will make me stronger. Maybe it has to do with trying and succeeding at something most people will never even consider.
Whatever the reason, I tell you now, God-willing, I will make this happen. I can not wait!
Happy New Year! May 2008 be a wonderful, blessed year for you and your entire family!
Kris
Finally, please take a moment to pray for a tiny, young family member of mine named Rachel who is in desperate need of your prayers and God's Healing to help her little body. Thank you.
So here you all have it, my New Year's Resolutions for 2008!
1) I intend to eliminate sugar from my diet with the exception of special occasions. Anyone who knows me knows that my sweet tooth is undeniable and overused. I have a love-hate relationship with them in that I love them, but my hips, glutes, and thighs do not. So I've decided it is best to eliminate refined sugar from my diet to become more satisfied with myself and end this love-hate cycle. In order to break my cravings for sweets I intend to avoid all refined sugar whatsoever during the entire month of January. My hope is that after a month of nothing sweet I will have lost the desire for sweets therefore not feeling any "need" to indulge other than a very rare treat, like for Bethy's birthday in February, or something extra special like that. This is a big commitment for me so I want you all to keep me accountable. Don't be afraid to check up on me and keep me honest, OK?
2) I intend to increase my cardio and ab workout time. With my teaching schedule I do get in about 9 hours of cardio a week but sometimes I don't get to focus on my cardio as much as I'd like because I'm busy focusing on other people's form and going around the room making corrections or whatever that interrupts my workout. And that's fine. That's what I'm paid to do. So I need to change my mentality and quit thinking that teaching class is my personal workout time, because it's not. If I weren't teaching I would be working out at a higher intensity, but in order to teach I have to be able to talk and if I can talk through a workout then I'm not working the cardio hard enough for as much of a personal benefit as I need to. So I need to devote time in my schedule after or before class to my personal workout which will increase my cardio. In addition, I plan to incorporate more ab time to two of my classes each week, and during the rest of the week I plan to do more ab work on my own at home. Getting back to the cardio and making time on my own to add that in leads me to my third resolution.
3) I will begin training for, and will run in, the January 2009 Disney World Marathon. James and I have both been talking about this recently and have decided this is a huge deal for us both, something each of us feel strongly that we'd like to do. James has always been a runner, but I have never so this is all foreign territory to me, but something I'm determined to accomplish. James is going to begin training himself while still in Iraq, and continue his training when he comes home, to compete in the full marathon, some 26 miles. I, on the other hand, being such a novice, plan to train myself for the half marathon, a little over 13 miles. This way James will be able to be with the girls while I run the half on one day, and then we'll swap places so he can run the full the next day. It'll work out perfectly, logistically. Now I just need to commit myself fully to the training and figure a way to work the needed runs into my schedule, without overtraining myself with the teaching I already do. I'm sure it will be a matter of finding the right balance so I don't injure myself, or suffer burnout or exhaustion, but I'm confident that my desire to achieve this will carry me through. I don't know when I've been quite so excited for anything in a very long time. And I don't know when something that is so foreign to me hasn't scared me away entirely, but this hasn't. Maybe it has to do with our love of all things Disney. Maybe it has to do with my desire to be a running partner with James. Maybe it has to do with all the sweets I've eaten way too many of and need to burn off. Maybe it has to do with proving to myself that that which does not kill me will make me stronger. Maybe it has to do with trying and succeeding at something most people will never even consider.
Whatever the reason, I tell you now, God-willing, I will make this happen. I can not wait!
Happy New Year! May 2008 be a wonderful, blessed year for you and your entire family!
Kris
Finally, please take a moment to pray for a tiny, young family member of mine named Rachel who is in desperate need of your prayers and God's Healing to help her little body. Thank you.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
I've said it before...
....and I'll say it again. Everything truly does happen for a reason. Even getting sick.
I've been stressing the past week or so, wondering how I was going to get everything accomplished that I needed to in order to have us ready to head to my parents' for Christmas. In addition to all the packing, I still had Christmas gifts to buy and wrap, goodies to make for the umpteen teachers my kids have, school activities, my job, and a gazillion other things going on. I mentioned in another post that God was giving me some help with Morgan doing some wrapping for me, so that was a load off. I guess He decided that wasn't enough help so He was going to give me a sick child to ease the load a little more.
How does having a sick child (Bethany) help ease the load? I mean, tending to a feverish little girl, wiping runny noses, administering medicines, taking her to the doctor...how exactly does that ease my work load?
Well, having her sick meant I had to cancel my aerobics classes for yesterday and today. It about killed me to have to cancel them because I am, by nature, a people-pleaser and can't stand the thought of anyone upset with me. I picture all those ladies going to the gym only to find out that my class is cancelled and then walking out furious over the unplanned absence. But life happens and the ladies who know me know this isn't something I have ever done before. Cancelling class is a HUGE deal for me, something I would only do if it is absolutely necessary.
Anyway, by cancelling the classes and staying home with Bethany I was able to accomplish so much in the house that I needed to do but was afraid I wouldn't get done. My baking is done. My packing is nearly finished. All but a few presents have been wrapped. Things have come together nicely, and only by the grace of God and my sick child. Had this spontaneous sickness not happened I fear I would still be panicking about not having enough hours in the day to get it all done.
And yet here I am, feeling more in control, relaxing a bit, beginning to feel the excitement of Christmas rather than the pressure and stress of a time crunch closing in on me.
Thank goodness for (sick) little girls!
I've been stressing the past week or so, wondering how I was going to get everything accomplished that I needed to in order to have us ready to head to my parents' for Christmas. In addition to all the packing, I still had Christmas gifts to buy and wrap, goodies to make for the umpteen teachers my kids have, school activities, my job, and a gazillion other things going on. I mentioned in another post that God was giving me some help with Morgan doing some wrapping for me, so that was a load off. I guess He decided that wasn't enough help so He was going to give me a sick child to ease the load a little more.
How does having a sick child (Bethany) help ease the load? I mean, tending to a feverish little girl, wiping runny noses, administering medicines, taking her to the doctor...how exactly does that ease my work load?
Well, having her sick meant I had to cancel my aerobics classes for yesterday and today. It about killed me to have to cancel them because I am, by nature, a people-pleaser and can't stand the thought of anyone upset with me. I picture all those ladies going to the gym only to find out that my class is cancelled and then walking out furious over the unplanned absence. But life happens and the ladies who know me know this isn't something I have ever done before. Cancelling class is a HUGE deal for me, something I would only do if it is absolutely necessary.
Anyway, by cancelling the classes and staying home with Bethany I was able to accomplish so much in the house that I needed to do but was afraid I wouldn't get done. My baking is done. My packing is nearly finished. All but a few presents have been wrapped. Things have come together nicely, and only by the grace of God and my sick child. Had this spontaneous sickness not happened I fear I would still be panicking about not having enough hours in the day to get it all done.
And yet here I am, feeling more in control, relaxing a bit, beginning to feel the excitement of Christmas rather than the pressure and stress of a time crunch closing in on me.
Thank goodness for (sick) little girls!
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