I've got Shreyl Crow's voice ringing in my ears now, letting me know that my vacation is about to start. Like the song says, I'm gonna soak up the sun, and boy, will I love it!
We're leaving in the morning for our long awaited family vacation--a true reminder that this deployment has ended, our family time has arrived, and the rest of the world will still be waiting for us when we get home.
We're heading to Tampa for a couple days to see Busch Gardens. After that we'll drive to Miami to board the Carnival Valor for our 7 night cruise. We can't wait to set sail (with Captain Morgan, lol) and watch the excitement on the girls' faces as the experience their first cruise. We'll get to spend our 14th anniversary in a tropical paradise. Does it get much better than that? When the cruise ends we'll head to Orlando to spend a day at one of Disney's waterparks to finish off our water and sun-filled vacation.
We'll arrive home for a couple days, just long enough to do some laundry, before taking off for the midwest to visit my brother and his wife, and then on to St. Louis to visit my parents, sister, nephew and neice.
We've got a lot planned over the next few weeks, and our gas bills will prove it, I'm sure! But I'll not think of that right now. I'll just focus on getting a good night's sleep and welcome the morning with a cheery face and an eager anticipation for all the fun that's in store.
Vacation, HERE WE COME!!!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Monday, June 09, 2008
Beach-Lovin' Family
For Memorial Weekend our family journeyed down to Panama City Beach, Florida for some sun and fun. This trip was spur-of-the-moment, sort of. To me spur-of-the-moment usually means less than a week or two of planning. In actuality, we made our reservations on a Wednesday and headed down there on Saturday morning. Not as much planning time as I like but still enough to pull together what needed done.
We elected to keep the trip a secret from the girls so they didn't know anything was up. Saturday morning I taught my usual class then came home to clean up. When that was done we told the girls to get in the van because we had some things to do. They obeyed and off we went. After a while they began asking where we were going and we just said we had some friends we were off to visit and left it at that. After about three hours Morgan finally began complaining about why we had to drive so far to see friends. We were within about 10 miles of the beach when she finally put it together and it made for the best surprise we could've asked for! The girls were thrilled to get to go to the beach and have all weekend to enjoy it!
During OIF 1 I got to know the wife and children of James' platoon sergeant fairly well. They moved away from here back in November 2003 in favor of returning to their hometown~~Panama City. Whenever we head down there we try to look them up for a quick visit to keep in touch. James and Freddie have a great time remembering "old times" and Darlus and I enjoy chatting while the four girls we have between us all play well together. It makes for some terrific memories.
This visit was different, however, in that Freddie and Darlus had just purchased their own boat a few weeks before and invited us to join them on it. They picked us up (in their boat) at the lagoon by our hotel and off we went across the gulf waters. We were on the lookout for dolphins the whole time but they stayed out of sight until later that night when one lonely dolphin jumped in front of our boat, giving Morgan a thrill!
Freddie drove us out to Shell Island which is only accessible by boats. It's uninhabited and beautiful. The water threat level was at two red flags which meant no one should be in the water swimming due to the waves and danger so we didn't stay long. Mostly we just held onto the kids and let some waves knock them over a few times and then allowed them to dig in the sand as the sun set behind us. We then hopped back on the boat and Freddie drove us across the bay back to our hotel.
The next day we headed to St. Andrews State Park for some simple beach time in some very shallow water. Darlus and her girls met us there for an hour or so which gave the kids more time to play together. After a few hours of swimming and sand-castle building we heard thunder rolling and decided (along with the throngs of other beach-goers) that it was time to pack up and leave before the storm was on top of us. We went back to the hotel to clean up and rest a bit before going out to dinner.
Dinner was delicious--how can you go wrong with fresh seafood??? I thoroughly enjoyed my crab leg feast while James devoured his shrimp. The girls ate whatever it was they ordered and then kept occupied watching for dolphins again as we were eating outdoors right on the water. It was a yummy meal!
Our last morning we headed to a bakery that we've always wanted to try but had never seen open before. This time it was open, and BUSY, so we popped in to grab some pastries before heading back to the beach for a final hour or so of water time before cleaning up and heading home. Or so we thought.
Breakfast was peaceful and relaxing sitting by the water. The girls found several hermit crabs after they'd eaten and decided to have a hermit crab race with them. They gave them names and rooted for their favorites. I'm pretty sure it's a memory we'll all carry with us for quite some time.
The plan was to clean up now, grab a quick bite on the way out of town (even though we weren't hungry yet) and hit the road for the 3 1/2 hour drive home. However, because we weren't hungry yet but we couldn't see leaving town without one more seafood meal, we decided to kill a little time with another tourist-y attraction. We took in the Ripley's Believe it or Not! museum. Morgan has always wanted to go to one of these as she gets such a kick out of stuff like that so we obliged. It was interesting to say the least.
After the museum we were ready for lunch so we drove around looking for something that would meet our needs and after a while we found what we wanted. After a final seafood meal we were ready to hit the road home. Everyone was tanned (and then some!), fed, happy, and exhausted.
One of my favorite memories will be discovering what Morgan had written in the sand while she was off by herself. It says, "I love my Momma."
We had had a great Memorial Weekend that came only one week after James returned home. We found ourselves frequently saying how interesting it was that he had still been in Iraq barely 8 days before and suddenly, here he was, sitting on the beach, watching for dolphins, hanging in a boat with his old buddy, watching his daughters race hermit crabs, and so on. Quite a culture shock. And yet, so very right and real and restful.
How happy and complete we feel to have Daddy home. It doesn't get much better.
We elected to keep the trip a secret from the girls so they didn't know anything was up. Saturday morning I taught my usual class then came home to clean up. When that was done we told the girls to get in the van because we had some things to do. They obeyed and off we went. After a while they began asking where we were going and we just said we had some friends we were off to visit and left it at that. After about three hours Morgan finally began complaining about why we had to drive so far to see friends. We were within about 10 miles of the beach when she finally put it together and it made for the best surprise we could've asked for! The girls were thrilled to get to go to the beach and have all weekend to enjoy it!
During OIF 1 I got to know the wife and children of James' platoon sergeant fairly well. They moved away from here back in November 2003 in favor of returning to their hometown~~Panama City. Whenever we head down there we try to look them up for a quick visit to keep in touch. James and Freddie have a great time remembering "old times" and Darlus and I enjoy chatting while the four girls we have between us all play well together. It makes for some terrific memories.
This visit was different, however, in that Freddie and Darlus had just purchased their own boat a few weeks before and invited us to join them on it. They picked us up (in their boat) at the lagoon by our hotel and off we went across the gulf waters. We were on the lookout for dolphins the whole time but they stayed out of sight until later that night when one lonely dolphin jumped in front of our boat, giving Morgan a thrill!
Freddie drove us out to Shell Island which is only accessible by boats. It's uninhabited and beautiful. The water threat level was at two red flags which meant no one should be in the water swimming due to the waves and danger so we didn't stay long. Mostly we just held onto the kids and let some waves knock them over a few times and then allowed them to dig in the sand as the sun set behind us. We then hopped back on the boat and Freddie drove us across the bay back to our hotel.
The next day we headed to St. Andrews State Park for some simple beach time in some very shallow water. Darlus and her girls met us there for an hour or so which gave the kids more time to play together. After a few hours of swimming and sand-castle building we heard thunder rolling and decided (along with the throngs of other beach-goers) that it was time to pack up and leave before the storm was on top of us. We went back to the hotel to clean up and rest a bit before going out to dinner.
Dinner was delicious--how can you go wrong with fresh seafood??? I thoroughly enjoyed my crab leg feast while James devoured his shrimp. The girls ate whatever it was they ordered and then kept occupied watching for dolphins again as we were eating outdoors right on the water. It was a yummy meal!
Our last morning we headed to a bakery that we've always wanted to try but had never seen open before. This time it was open, and BUSY, so we popped in to grab some pastries before heading back to the beach for a final hour or so of water time before cleaning up and heading home. Or so we thought.
Breakfast was peaceful and relaxing sitting by the water. The girls found several hermit crabs after they'd eaten and decided to have a hermit crab race with them. They gave them names and rooted for their favorites. I'm pretty sure it's a memory we'll all carry with us for quite some time.
The plan was to clean up now, grab a quick bite on the way out of town (even though we weren't hungry yet) and hit the road for the 3 1/2 hour drive home. However, because we weren't hungry yet but we couldn't see leaving town without one more seafood meal, we decided to kill a little time with another tourist-y attraction. We took in the Ripley's Believe it or Not! museum. Morgan has always wanted to go to one of these as she gets such a kick out of stuff like that so we obliged. It was interesting to say the least.
After the museum we were ready for lunch so we drove around looking for something that would meet our needs and after a while we found what we wanted. After a final seafood meal we were ready to hit the road home. Everyone was tanned (and then some!), fed, happy, and exhausted.
One of my favorite memories will be discovering what Morgan had written in the sand while she was off by herself. It says, "I love my Momma."
We had had a great Memorial Weekend that came only one week after James returned home. We found ourselves frequently saying how interesting it was that he had still been in Iraq barely 8 days before and suddenly, here he was, sitting on the beach, watching for dolphins, hanging in a boat with his old buddy, watching his daughters race hermit crabs, and so on. Quite a culture shock. And yet, so very right and real and restful.
How happy and complete we feel to have Daddy home. It doesn't get much better.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
T-minus 5 hours
Isn't that what mission control uses to countdown until liftoff? Well, it is now "T- minus 5 hours" here meaning it is about 5 hours from when James should be landing. Unbelievable that this day has finally arrived. I'm in shock and dumbfounded, thrilled beyond words, and nauseous.
Yep. That's right. I'm sick to my stomach. I'm certain it is mostly nerves and anxiousness. I wasn't even able to give it my all in class this morning because my stomach was churning so much. I wonder if other ladies go through these same emotions or if I'm the only silly one that gets this feeling in her stomach like a giddy bride on her wedding day. Jeesh, we've been married almost 14 years. I guess it's a good thing, though, to still feel butterflies after all this time. It means the spark is still there and the absence certainly made the heart grow fonder.
The wait will end soon enough. Until then I have oodles to finish up around the house. My next post will be after he's made it home!!!!
Yep. That's right. I'm sick to my stomach. I'm certain it is mostly nerves and anxiousness. I wasn't even able to give it my all in class this morning because my stomach was churning so much. I wonder if other ladies go through these same emotions or if I'm the only silly one that gets this feeling in her stomach like a giddy bride on her wedding day. Jeesh, we've been married almost 14 years. I guess it's a good thing, though, to still feel butterflies after all this time. It means the spark is still there and the absence certainly made the heart grow fonder.
The wait will end soon enough. Until then I have oodles to finish up around the house. My next post will be after he's made it home!!!!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
A great Mother's Day
Even without my daughters' father here to share in the day, it still turned out to be a great Mother's Day. I mean, really, isn't every day Mother's Day when you get to share in all the hugs and kisses from your very special angels sent from God to teach you how to be a better person?
My day began with two little voices telling me to wake up. They had slept in the living room so they could wake early and prepare a breakfast for me. I was greeted in bed by two slices of bread slathered in butter, a cut up orange, a whole apple, a huge glass of OJ, a vase of flowers (the same ones Bethy was given for her recital yesterday) and a parfait. Not just any parfait, mind you. This parfait was created by children after my sugar-addicted heart. It was layered in a glass as follows; cinnamon flavored choc. chips, semi-sweet choc. chips, sprinkles, cinnamon chips, choc. chips, sprinkles, and topped with thin mint cookies. Oh dear Heavens!!! What would the ladies at the gym think of this????
After enjoying what I could eat of the breakfast the girls had prepared for me we ventured downstairs where I was (finally!) greeted by an email card from James. He's still alright and his redeployment is inching ever so closer day by day.
The girls have been fantastic helpers to me all day long. I'd told them that what I wanted more than anything today was lots of help getting the house in order for Daddy's return. I wanted a more thorough cleaning than just our normal weekend tidying up. Everything I've asked the girls to do they have done, not always happily and cheerfully but still willingly. We've washed all the curtains, vacuumed out the crunchies under the couch cushions, scrubbed litterboxes, chased away dustbunnies, and all kinds of other little chores that pile up when you're busy living your day to day life.
I'm not finished with all that I need to do. Goodness knows I've put off a lot today in favor of that 30 minute nap on the couch, a little TV watching (we borrowed the Indiana Jones series from the library so Morgan could see what it's all about before going to the theater with her Daddy to see the newest release once he's home), and a few other lazy moments. But together the girls and I have accomplished a lot and I feel very happy about how the day has gone.
And to top off this most wonderful day, the Survivor finale is on tonight. That means 3 hours of Survivor for me tonight. Again, another thank you to James for getting me hooked on this show. I do believe I would make a great contestant. Hmmm....maybe James will help me get a video application ready???
Tomorrow is the last Monday of the school year as the girls have the 19th off for a teacher work day, and the 26th off for Memorial Day. Maybe after tomorrow we'll only have one more link to take off our paper chain we made when James left. We made it the day after he left home. When we made it I felt like one link for every day he'd be gone would make way too long of a chain and it would feel too overwhelming. So instead we made one link for each week he'd be gone, and Monday became our day for removing each week's link as it just felt like that was the day the week started for us. So tomorrow we'll remove one link and then by the next Monday we hope to know for certain that he'll be home before another week passes. Crossing fingers.....
What a blessing each day is, and all the sweeter because someone calls me "Momma."
My day began with two little voices telling me to wake up. They had slept in the living room so they could wake early and prepare a breakfast for me. I was greeted in bed by two slices of bread slathered in butter, a cut up orange, a whole apple, a huge glass of OJ, a vase of flowers (the same ones Bethy was given for her recital yesterday) and a parfait. Not just any parfait, mind you. This parfait was created by children after my sugar-addicted heart. It was layered in a glass as follows; cinnamon flavored choc. chips, semi-sweet choc. chips, sprinkles, cinnamon chips, choc. chips, sprinkles, and topped with thin mint cookies. Oh dear Heavens!!! What would the ladies at the gym think of this????
After enjoying what I could eat of the breakfast the girls had prepared for me we ventured downstairs where I was (finally!) greeted by an email card from James. He's still alright and his redeployment is inching ever so closer day by day.
The girls have been fantastic helpers to me all day long. I'd told them that what I wanted more than anything today was lots of help getting the house in order for Daddy's return. I wanted a more thorough cleaning than just our normal weekend tidying up. Everything I've asked the girls to do they have done, not always happily and cheerfully but still willingly. We've washed all the curtains, vacuumed out the crunchies under the couch cushions, scrubbed litterboxes, chased away dustbunnies, and all kinds of other little chores that pile up when you're busy living your day to day life.
I'm not finished with all that I need to do. Goodness knows I've put off a lot today in favor of that 30 minute nap on the couch, a little TV watching (we borrowed the Indiana Jones series from the library so Morgan could see what it's all about before going to the theater with her Daddy to see the newest release once he's home), and a few other lazy moments. But together the girls and I have accomplished a lot and I feel very happy about how the day has gone.
And to top off this most wonderful day, the Survivor finale is on tonight. That means 3 hours of Survivor for me tonight. Again, another thank you to James for getting me hooked on this show. I do believe I would make a great contestant. Hmmm....maybe James will help me get a video application ready???
Tomorrow is the last Monday of the school year as the girls have the 19th off for a teacher work day, and the 26th off for Memorial Day. Maybe after tomorrow we'll only have one more link to take off our paper chain we made when James left. We made it the day after he left home. When we made it I felt like one link for every day he'd be gone would make way too long of a chain and it would feel too overwhelming. So instead we made one link for each week he'd be gone, and Monday became our day for removing each week's link as it just felt like that was the day the week started for us. So tomorrow we'll remove one link and then by the next Monday we hope to know for certain that he'll be home before another week passes. Crossing fingers.....
What a blessing each day is, and all the sweeter because someone calls me "Momma."
A ballerina is born
Bethany performed in her very first ballet recital on Saturday, May 10th. She looked gorgeous and it was quite a treat to see her dancing to "Going to the Chapel" and enjoying herself on stage. After she'd received her trophy and a bouquet of flowers from her sister and I, she declared it the best day of her life. How precious!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Good news, bad news? No news...
Nothing to report. I haven't heard from James in two days. No phone call (that's nuthin' new since he's only called a total of 6 times in 14 months!!!) and no email (that's rare!). He usually emails every day or even a few times a day, but now I've heard nothing since Thursday morning.
They say no news is good news and I hope that's right. I'm not going to let my mind wander to the worst case scenario, though every one knows what that would be. Every single day of the entire deployment you dread the doorbell because you never know if "green suits" will be at your door. But I'm not going to think that right now.
I'm just going to continue to believe he's extremely busy over there, awaiting their Transfer of Authority. Only after that is complete can he leave Iraq.
And now I'm off to teach my rockin' Saturday morning class. Here's hoping for a massive turnout as I could use the class's energy to boost my mood!
Later on we've got Bethany's very first ballet recital, which I'll post pictures of when we get home. This Momma is gonna be sooooo proud!!! (note to self: put some Kleenex in your purse! LOL)
They say no news is good news and I hope that's right. I'm not going to let my mind wander to the worst case scenario, though every one knows what that would be. Every single day of the entire deployment you dread the doorbell because you never know if "green suits" will be at your door. But I'm not going to think that right now.
I'm just going to continue to believe he's extremely busy over there, awaiting their Transfer of Authority. Only after that is complete can he leave Iraq.
And now I'm off to teach my rockin' Saturday morning class. Here's hoping for a massive turnout as I could use the class's energy to boost my mood!
Later on we've got Bethany's very first ballet recital, which I'll post pictures of when we get home. This Momma is gonna be sooooo proud!!! (note to self: put some Kleenex in your purse! LOL)
Thursday, May 08, 2008
I spoke too soon
As I piddle the time away waiting for LOST to come on tonight (thank you to James for getting me addicted to that show!!!) I sit here thinking about everything I posted about earlier. And the more I think about it, the more the tears well up in my eyes. Why am I so sad? Why can't I feel more joy for my friends' reunions? Why do I feel so sorry for myself?
Well, as I think about it more and more and more (something I should not be doing, by the way) I realize that all these guys coming home now are drawing the same hazard duty pays that my husband is. Hazard duty pay is paid by the month, meaning if you are in a combat zone even one day out of the month, you get the full month of hazard pay. So these guys get the full month of May hazard pay. We're talking about $600 for the month. James will recieve the exact same pay, $600, but yet he has to endure an extra two weeks of combat to get exactly what these guys that are already home are getting. Doesn't seem fair, huh?
But the pay aside, in doing some soul-searching, I think what is tearing me up the most is that with every single minute that he is still over there he is in danger. I still worry that he could be taken from this life at any second. Yes, it's very true that it could just as easily happen here at home. When it's your time, it's your time. But dodging bullets and traveling suspiscious roads laden with IED's certainly seems to increase the danger, don't ya think?
So, no matter how close James is to coming home, every minute he stays in Iraq keeps me on edge. It keeps me fearful of the "what if's," It keeps me worried for his safety and wondering if a reunion is truly in our future. I can never be certain.
And yet my friends have had their reunions and for them that worry is over.
That's what I'm having a hard time dealing with.
I don't think James allows his head to 'go there' with all these thoughts the way I do. It's no good for him to let his mind think about all the injustices when there is a mission yet to be done. He focuses on what he's got to do and gets it done. That's why he's a great soldier. I admire his ability to suck it up and let it be. I wish I were more that way.
Switching topics slightly, as you read this would you please say a little prayer right now for PFC Kyle Little and SPC Blake Stephens who died in Iraq one year ago today. James was honored to know and lead these men and will probably wear the bracelet with their KIA information on it for the rest of his life. May Little and Stephens rest in peace and may their families be comforted on this sad anniversary in the knowledge that they were great soldiers and wonderful men.
I'm sorry this post, and the last one, have been such downers. Having this blog is an outlet for my emotions, and it helps to release what I'm feeling. You may not understand or relate to it, but knowing you all care enough to read is comforting. I know there are people out there who love us and want the best for us, too. Please keep James in your prayers. His family aches to have him home.
Well, as I think about it more and more and more (something I should not be doing, by the way) I realize that all these guys coming home now are drawing the same hazard duty pays that my husband is. Hazard duty pay is paid by the month, meaning if you are in a combat zone even one day out of the month, you get the full month of hazard pay. So these guys get the full month of May hazard pay. We're talking about $600 for the month. James will recieve the exact same pay, $600, but yet he has to endure an extra two weeks of combat to get exactly what these guys that are already home are getting. Doesn't seem fair, huh?
But the pay aside, in doing some soul-searching, I think what is tearing me up the most is that with every single minute that he is still over there he is in danger. I still worry that he could be taken from this life at any second. Yes, it's very true that it could just as easily happen here at home. When it's your time, it's your time. But dodging bullets and traveling suspiscious roads laden with IED's certainly seems to increase the danger, don't ya think?
So, no matter how close James is to coming home, every minute he stays in Iraq keeps me on edge. It keeps me fearful of the "what if's," It keeps me worried for his safety and wondering if a reunion is truly in our future. I can never be certain.
And yet my friends have had their reunions and for them that worry is over.
That's what I'm having a hard time dealing with.
I don't think James allows his head to 'go there' with all these thoughts the way I do. It's no good for him to let his mind think about all the injustices when there is a mission yet to be done. He focuses on what he's got to do and gets it done. That's why he's a great soldier. I admire his ability to suck it up and let it be. I wish I were more that way.
Switching topics slightly, as you read this would you please say a little prayer right now for PFC Kyle Little and SPC Blake Stephens who died in Iraq one year ago today. James was honored to know and lead these men and will probably wear the bracelet with their KIA information on it for the rest of his life. May Little and Stephens rest in peace and may their families be comforted on this sad anniversary in the knowledge that they were great soldiers and wonderful men.
I'm sorry this post, and the last one, have been such downers. Having this blog is an outlet for my emotions, and it helps to release what I'm feeling. You may not understand or relate to it, but knowing you all care enough to read is comforting. I know there are people out there who love us and want the best for us, too. Please keep James in your prayers. His family aches to have him home.
Back on track and feeling better
Better is subjective, though, isn't it?
Am I feeling better than I was during my last post when I thought James might not be home until early June? YES. It looks like he will, in fact, return in May.
Am I feeling great? NO.
I see my friends' husbands returning and I'm bittersweet about it. I am so happy that Angela's husband returned last night. Ladies in my classes at the gym have been welcoming their husbands home over the last several days. My friend and battle buddy, Teresa, will pick her husband up at the airport tonight. I'm thrilled for them. They have waited for this day as long as I have. But at the same time I'm sad that I'll continue to wait.
But I know it's not indefinite, God-willing. There is an end in sight. And I know full well that I am not alone in this, however alone it may feel. James will not be alone on his flight coming home. He will be in the company of two or three hundred other heroes, which means all those other families are waiting as long as I am during these final days and weeks. It just feels like each day is an eternity, especially when you're so anxious that it be your soldier that arrives at the airfield that night instead of your neighbors' and friends'.
In other news, the girls are doing fine and finishing up the school year. They will be done on May 28th, though neither one is anxious for summer vacation. Bethany loves school and being around her friends so she's not looking forward to a break from them. Morgan also loves school but is very nervous about entering middle school in August. She'll be a 6th grader at our post's middle school. It is a uniform school which doesn't thrill her, either. I'm sure she'll manage just fine but in the meantime she's working herself into a frenzy over it.
The three of us gals went to Chattanooga, TN with Morgan's Girl Scout Troop this past weekend. We toured Rock City, a cave, and the TN aquarium. They panned for gemstones, too, which was a highlight for most of the girls. All those cookie sales helped fund their trip so it was for a good cause.
Bethany has been in a ballet/tap dance class this school year and will finish off the year this weekend with a performace on Saturday afternoon. How she loves to dance and how badly I wish James would be here to see this. I'll purchase the professional DVD that will be filmed for us so he'll be able to watch it once he comes home. Bethany will be in a gorgeous white, fluffy tutu dancing to "Going to the Chapel." She is thrilled about it. No doubt she'll want to re-join the dance class when it resumes in the fall.
I'm still teaching my class, 7/week at the gym, though I'm having to make some adjustments to my schedule. I've had such a hard time with plantar fascitis over the last few months (since September) and knee problems that have crept up since I began trying to run in January. The running had to be put on hold, which is killing me to have to do, for the last couple months as the knee was just too unstable and I was worried I would injure it so badly I'd have to quit teaching temporarily. The foot problem has had me seeing a podiatrist who has told me I need to teach with less intensity, or take a break from it altogether. After months of trying to do things my way, I finally see that the good doctor is right. I have to listen to him if I ever want to be 100% again. I won't ever get back to running until I get healed completely.
So, I've agreed to alter my class schedule a bit, to take out two of my step classes (high intensity/impact) and substitute those with two aqua aerobics classes (low-to-zero impact). I'm not giving up all my high impact classes--I'll still have 5 of those every week. I'm just switching two out right now to see if that break on Tues and Thurs will be what I need to get my feet feeling better again. I've never taught aqua before, though I have taken aqua classes many times. I've got a lot of homework to do to study up and formulate my class agendas before my first class on the 20th of this month. I'm excited and scared and anxious and nervous all at once.
That concludes this update. Hopefully I'll have more exciting news to report soon.
Love to you all!
Am I feeling better than I was during my last post when I thought James might not be home until early June? YES. It looks like he will, in fact, return in May.
Am I feeling great? NO.
I see my friends' husbands returning and I'm bittersweet about it. I am so happy that Angela's husband returned last night. Ladies in my classes at the gym have been welcoming their husbands home over the last several days. My friend and battle buddy, Teresa, will pick her husband up at the airport tonight. I'm thrilled for them. They have waited for this day as long as I have. But at the same time I'm sad that I'll continue to wait.
But I know it's not indefinite, God-willing. There is an end in sight. And I know full well that I am not alone in this, however alone it may feel. James will not be alone on his flight coming home. He will be in the company of two or three hundred other heroes, which means all those other families are waiting as long as I am during these final days and weeks. It just feels like each day is an eternity, especially when you're so anxious that it be your soldier that arrives at the airfield that night instead of your neighbors' and friends'.
In other news, the girls are doing fine and finishing up the school year. They will be done on May 28th, though neither one is anxious for summer vacation. Bethany loves school and being around her friends so she's not looking forward to a break from them. Morgan also loves school but is very nervous about entering middle school in August. She'll be a 6th grader at our post's middle school. It is a uniform school which doesn't thrill her, either. I'm sure she'll manage just fine but in the meantime she's working herself into a frenzy over it.
The three of us gals went to Chattanooga, TN with Morgan's Girl Scout Troop this past weekend. We toured Rock City, a cave, and the TN aquarium. They panned for gemstones, too, which was a highlight for most of the girls. All those cookie sales helped fund their trip so it was for a good cause.
Bethany has been in a ballet/tap dance class this school year and will finish off the year this weekend with a performace on Saturday afternoon. How she loves to dance and how badly I wish James would be here to see this. I'll purchase the professional DVD that will be filmed for us so he'll be able to watch it once he comes home. Bethany will be in a gorgeous white, fluffy tutu dancing to "Going to the Chapel." She is thrilled about it. No doubt she'll want to re-join the dance class when it resumes in the fall.
I'm still teaching my class, 7/week at the gym, though I'm having to make some adjustments to my schedule. I've had such a hard time with plantar fascitis over the last few months (since September) and knee problems that have crept up since I began trying to run in January. The running had to be put on hold, which is killing me to have to do, for the last couple months as the knee was just too unstable and I was worried I would injure it so badly I'd have to quit teaching temporarily. The foot problem has had me seeing a podiatrist who has told me I need to teach with less intensity, or take a break from it altogether. After months of trying to do things my way, I finally see that the good doctor is right. I have to listen to him if I ever want to be 100% again. I won't ever get back to running until I get healed completely.
So, I've agreed to alter my class schedule a bit, to take out two of my step classes (high intensity/impact) and substitute those with two aqua aerobics classes (low-to-zero impact). I'm not giving up all my high impact classes--I'll still have 5 of those every week. I'm just switching two out right now to see if that break on Tues and Thurs will be what I need to get my feet feeling better again. I've never taught aqua before, though I have taken aqua classes many times. I've got a lot of homework to do to study up and formulate my class agendas before my first class on the 20th of this month. I'm excited and scared and anxious and nervous all at once.
That concludes this update. Hopefully I'll have more exciting news to report soon.
Love to you all!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Wish I knew, but I don't
I was so looking forward to May 1st. As I went to bed last night I was psyched that this morning, May the 1st, I would FINALLY be able to say my husband would be home THIS MONTH!
Then I checked my email.
James sent me a message saying things are more up in the air with him than they had been. He no longer has any kind of estimate of when he'll be home, but I need to be prepared that he could get put on the trail flight, or worse, the "no joke" flight, which would be the last out of Kuwait.
That means early June, not mid May.
I know nothing is definite until he is on the plane, in the air, homeward bound. (BTW, I LOVE that movie!!!) I know that the end of a deployment can be as unsettling and emotionally exhausting as the beginning. I know that I should anticipate a roller coaster ride of emotions and accept that I can do nothing to change it so I might as well keep my chin up and continue 'soldiering on.'
And yet, that's easier said than done. When you've been without your partner, your lover, your best friend, for so long, all you want is to have them before you, able to reach out for their face, and feel them beside you, knowing the long separation has come to an end. Each day awaiting that reconnection is longer than the one before.
But I will endure. I will continue on. And if James is meant to be one of the last home then I'll accept it. After all, someone has to be on the last flight, right? Someone is always the first to go and someone has to be the last home. As long as he does come home that is all that should matter, right?
I need to remind myself of that over and over in the next few weeks whenever I feel myself slipping into a little pity-party. Other families only wish they would be so lucky as to see their soldier come home on the final flight.
Thank you to all of those who sacrificed it all. May you Rest in Peace and know that we are eternally grateful.
Then I checked my email.
James sent me a message saying things are more up in the air with him than they had been. He no longer has any kind of estimate of when he'll be home, but I need to be prepared that he could get put on the trail flight, or worse, the "no joke" flight, which would be the last out of Kuwait.
That means early June, not mid May.
I know nothing is definite until he is on the plane, in the air, homeward bound. (BTW, I LOVE that movie!!!) I know that the end of a deployment can be as unsettling and emotionally exhausting as the beginning. I know that I should anticipate a roller coaster ride of emotions and accept that I can do nothing to change it so I might as well keep my chin up and continue 'soldiering on.'
And yet, that's easier said than done. When you've been without your partner, your lover, your best friend, for so long, all you want is to have them before you, able to reach out for their face, and feel them beside you, knowing the long separation has come to an end. Each day awaiting that reconnection is longer than the one before.
But I will endure. I will continue on. And if James is meant to be one of the last home then I'll accept it. After all, someone has to be on the last flight, right? Someone is always the first to go and someone has to be the last home. As long as he does come home that is all that should matter, right?
I need to remind myself of that over and over in the next few weeks whenever I feel myself slipping into a little pity-party. Other families only wish they would be so lucky as to see their soldier come home on the final flight.
Thank you to all of those who sacrificed it all. May you Rest in Peace and know that we are eternally grateful.
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